My Way Day

What the day is

My Way Day is observed on February 17, taking its name from the song and the sentiment of doing things your own way.

Origin and background

The song is not originally English and not originally defiant. It began as Comme d'habitude, written and recorded by Claude François in France in 1967, and its subject is a couple whose relationship has decayed into routine, going through the motions as usual. It is a small, sad domestic song.

Paul Anka heard it on holiday, acquired the rights, and wrote entirely new English words for Frank Sinatra, who recorded it in 1969. Anka kept the melody and replaced the resigned husband with a man reviewing his life without apology. The transformation is total: the same tune carries opposite meanings in the two languages.

Sinatra himself reportedly grew to dislike it, finding it self-aggrandizing, though he kept performing it because audiences demanded it. Sid Vicious recorded a deliberately destructive version in 1978 that works as a comment on the original.

It has become one of the most frequently played funeral songs in Britain, appearing at or near the top of surveys by funeral directors for years, which suits a lyric explicitly framed as a summing-up.

It has also acquired a grim reputation in Philippine karaoke bars, where a series of fatal disputes during performances of it was widely reported, to the point that some venues removed it from their machines.

The underlying idea has research behind it. Self-determination theory identifies autonomy, the sense that your actions are your own rather than imposed, as one of a small number of basic psychological needs, and it predicts wellbeing across very different cultures.

How to take part

• Listen to Comme d'habitude and then the Sinatra version, back to back.
• Try the Sid Vicious recording, which is a genuine argument rather than a joke.
• Do one thing today the way you would choose rather than the way it is usually done.
• Ask an older relative what they would want played, which is a better conversation than it sounds.