Festivus

What the day is

Festivus is observed on December 23. It is a secular alternative to Christmas, defined by an undecorated aluminum pole, a dinner, the Airing of Grievances, in which participants list how the others have disappointed them over the past year, and the Feats of Strength.

Origin and background

Most people date it to a 1997 episode of Seinfeld, and that is where it reached the public. It did not start there. A writer on the show took it from his own father, who had invented a family holiday of that name in the 1960s, and the original was stranger than the television version. It had no pole. It did involve a clock in a bag fixed to a wall, and the father declined to explain what that meant.

The televised version supplied the props and slogans that made it portable, and the holiday then did something unusual for a joke. People began actually observing it. Bars hold Festivus nights, families hold Festivus dinners, and the pole is sold commercially.

It has also acquired a serious legal role. When a government opens public property to privately sponsored holiday displays, it has generally created a forum it cannot then police by viewpoint, so it must accept displays it did not have in mind. Festivus poles have accordingly appeared in state capitol buildings alongside nativity scenes, usually erected by people making exactly that constitutional point. The joke works as an argument because nobody can claim it is being excluded for being unpopular without conceding the principle.

The Airing of Grievances is the part most worth keeping. Stated once a year, with everybody expecting it and nobody obliged to resolve anything, it is a reasonably healthy format.

How to take part

• Put up a plain pole and decorate nothing.
• Hold the Airing of Grievances with a time limit and a rule that nothing said counts afterward.
• Keep the Feats of Strength symbolic and nobody gets hurt.
• Invite people who find December difficult, which is much of the point of a secular alternative.
• Serve ordinary food. Elaborate catering defeats the premise entirely.